Itâs a parentsâ worst nightmare. Your teenage daughter comes home and says sheâs a boy in a girlâs body. She gives a boyâs name that she wants to be called by in future and expects that you will refer to her using he/him pronouns instead of she/her. She requests money for puberty blockers, testosterone and other drugs, boyâs clothes, haircut, etc., to show her new identity. Shocked you object to this and try to reason with her, but she accuses you of hate speech, transphobia, bullying, and threatens to leave home and join her trans group. Staggered by this sudden revelation you make enquiries and find that the groundwork was laid by peers and YouTube, with the smartphone being an almost indispensable medium. Teachers and shrinks supported and affirmed the girlâs decision and have no time for concerns expressed by distraught parents. The more you investigate, the more you realise itâs part of a new revolution infecting western countries. Abigail Shrier, an investigative journalist, writes about it in her book Irreversible Damage: Teenage Girls and the Transgender Craze. This article will highlight some of her findings.
Maybe you will think that as Christians we are immune to this craze because our children are raised in godly homes and attend Christian schools. I sincerely hope youâre right. But our children are growing up in a crazy world which, having embraced feminism, homosexuality and lesbianism, is now busy embracing transgenderism with all the misery it brings. As Prof B Holwerda once said, when a society turns away from the Lord He gives them over to the foolish consequences of their rebellion against Him. Since we and our childrenâand our uni students, in particularâwill be confronted with this new, increasingly prevalent ideology, we do well to at least know something about it.
Shrier says that todayâs teenage girls are more lonely, more suicidal, more anorexic, and more inclined to depression than ever before. They are confronted by screen and social media personas who set beauty standards most teenage girls canât meet. Consequently, they become dissatisfied with their bodies. Since males donât seem to have that problem, teenage girls reason that if they were in a male body theyâd be satisfied with their less-than-ideal beauty. That in turn leads to âgender dysphoriaâ (dissatisfaction with oneâs biological sex) and to believe they might actually be a boy in a girlâs body.
Back in the 1990s only 0.01 % of girls felt this way but recently this percentage has skyrocketed. A girl only needs to suggest that she is dissatisfied with her body and many in social media will propose that sheâs likely to be transgender. Of course, a powerful contributing factor to all this is the use of smart phones, which almost all have. Teenage girls are online almost constantly. Once she makes a move in the transgender direction itâs almost impossible to do a U-turn.
Shrier refers to Dr Litman, a public health researcher, who sought to discover why this gender dysphoria suddenly befell teenage girls and why it was so much higher in friend clusters? She found that girls were stimulating one another, especially through social media! Dr Litman suggested that instead of immediately caving in to teenage girlsâ requests to changes to their bodies, doctors should try to understand what else might be wrong. Doctorsâ treatments, she found, are at best ineffective; at worst they give treatments the girls are likely to regret because of the irreversible damage. Dr Littman found that people too easily concluded that a girl had âgender dysphoriaâ without real proof, that transitioning was âthe only path to happinessâ, and that âanyone who disagrees with the self-assessment of being transgender or opposes the plan of transition is transphobic, abusive, and should be cut offâ.
Unsurprisingly her suggestions caused a storm of attacks. Activists accused her of anti-trans bigotry, of being motivated by bias, of material âbelow scientific standardsâ, of dangerous suggestions which could lead to âworse mental outcomesâ for trans-identifying adolescents. Her university, influenced by the clamour of the woke mob, replaced its press release of her paper with an apology.
The influencers
Thereâs a whole range of people influencing the girls to transition to boys, particularly through social media. Itâs reinforced by medical professionals, psychiatrists and teachers. Suicide rates among âtransgender identifiedâ are alarmingly high but instead of blaming transitioning, the trans influencers blame the parents, claiming that they probably led their daughter to suicide by refusing to support the transitioning, or by taking away their iPhone.
The influencers (usually full of piercings and tattoos) rave on about their changing bodies. Theyâre ecstatic about being on testosterone and pity girls who canât get it because âgatekeepingâ parents wonât allow it. Shrier says:
âMany of them peddle misinformation, outright medical falsehoods, and just bad advice. They extol the glories of testosterone as if it were a protein shake, not a Schedule III controlled substance. They enthuse over double mastectomies as if they were no more significant than a haircut. They refer to skeptical parents as âtoxicââand encourage their audience to upgrade to a trans âglitter familyâ.â
The schools
Itâs also pushed by the schools with policies about being âinclusiveâ and âsafeâ. They teach that there are some things boys typically like or are good at (maths, sport) and some that girls are typically good at (singing, acting, drawing). Â Then they say, if a girl or boy likes doing activities typical of the other gender, theyâre not merely male or female. It is then suggested that they may actually be transgender. Shrier says: âgender ideologues make sure she learns that things like sports and math are for boys. Itâs essential that she learns gender stereotypes because, without them, âgender identityâ makes no sense at all. And when a boy realizes that he enjoys some of the âgirlâ activities, like painting or dancing, the revelation that he is not entirely a âboyâ readily tees up.â
Health curricula employ gender-identity activities whereby students are asked to imagine they are of a different gender. Their aim is to get students to question whether they are really entirely male or female. In high school, gender identity and sexual orientation is raunchy, explicit and radical with the effect of normalising LGBT. Whilst the advocates say that it works to normalise LGBT behaviours, Schrier says it encourages the formation of two camps: us and them. School calendars âinsist that LGBT students be not merely treated equally and fairly, but revered for their braveryâ. Little wonder that one mother said that all her daughterâs friends at school identify as transgender, or lesbian, or gay, or bi. âI feel like itâs very important to my daughter and to a lot of these kids who are caught up in this to be part of the LGBT umbrella, but theyâve got to be in that umbrella because it has become such a tribe of which they are proud to be members.â
How did educators and activists manage to get these radical views into mainstream schools? By irresistibly packaging it all as antibullying. This appeals to peopleâs morals and to parentsâ preoccupation with their childrenâs physical safety. âAll of this sexual orientation and gender identity education was necessaryâeducators claimedâto prevent the battery, harassment, and acute psychological distress of LGBT children.â
Schrier believes itâs all âa pretext for gender identity education: the ever-expanding notions of what constitutes âbullyingâ and student âsafetyââ. Such bullying can be as minor as using a studentâs âwrongâ pronouns, or a parent disagreeing with their childâs gender identity and thereby causing âsignificant psychological distressâ. Indeed, thereâs even âspiritual abuseâ when people are forced to adhere to rigid gender roles. Says Schrier: “Perhaps there are students who might venture, Iâm a Christian, so I believe youâre a boy, not a girl as you say you are. Such a devoutly orthodox student wouldnât last very long, one imagines, in the sort of school environment where gender ideology reigns.â
Mums and dads
The bookâs title Irreversible Damage relates to the results when girls take testosterone, puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones. These lead to infertility and other tragic results. And yet schools, psychologists and medical doctors support it and the media celebrates it. Parents arenât even informed and frequently find out too late. Those parents who spoke up on social media had their posts deleted and were ostracised as transphobes.
Schrier relates heart-rending stories of parents whose daughters were caught up in transgenderism. Parents who were at their wits end, accused by daughters who turned their backs on their parents and were embraced by the âtransgender familyâ which spurred them on.
Some parents who learned of what was happening to their daughter took the radical step of taking her from school, selling their house and living far away on a farm where there was no internet connection and hence no smart-phone access to the proponents of transgenderism. It worked. Their daughter could start life, redux, and once again live as a girl.
In past decades, parents would have shown a sympathetic but sober, no-nonsense approach to a daughterâs anxiety, as in, âIf youâre feeling sad, just tell me.â Or, âYouâre making a big deal out of nothingâ. Or, âLetâs just go to the mall for an ice-cream.â Todayâs adolescents are practiced in therapy and its terms such a âsocial anxietyâ, âtesting anxietyâ, âpanic attacksâ and so forth which have the effect of giving such feelings diagnostic credibility.
The shrinks
There is an expectation by nearly every medical accrediting organisation that therapists affirm that a male patient who identifies as a woman really is a woman, and vice versa. Itâs called âaffirmative therapyâ and it âcompels therapists to endorse a falsehood: not that, e.g., a teenage girl feels more comfortable presenting as a boyâbut that she actually is a boyâ.
Itâs crazy. Just imagine, says Shriek, that an anorexic girl tells her therapist that she knows sheâs fat so please call me Fatty. After all, following the logic of âaffirmative therapyâ, you are what you feel. Or imagine a black girl says that she doesnât feel black, likes white boys, and wants her skin and hair bleached so that she looks white. Would the therapist say, âOkay, nobody knows who you really are better than you, so I can affirm that you are Caucasian, and even if your parents donât agree weâll start the treatment to make you whiteâ?
The dissidents
Thereâs tremendous pressure from the activist mob for professionals to endorse âaffirmative therapyâ. If they donât, theyâre likely to lose their job and maybe even their licence. Â Very few have the guts not to go along with it. Even those who have earned international reputations in psychiatry, sexology or psychology and have authored major academic research papers are afraid to oppose the prevailing view. If they do, they suffer academic setbacks and reputational smears.
The transformation
Shrier says trans girls often start off by binding their breasts to flatten them. Itâs uncomfortable and poses risks: back pain, shoulder pain, chest pain, shortness of breath, bruised and fractured ribs. It can permanently damage tissue and leave an ugly appearance. Often girls then move to a double mastectomy. And thereâs no turning back because natural breasts canât be replaced.
They take testosterone to make them more man-like. After a few months body and facial hair sprouts. The girlâs voices start to crack, she develops acne, perhaps some baldness, squarer jaw, muscles grow, etc.
There are risks: cardiovascular disease, greater risk of heart attack, muscle aches, painful cramps, increased sweating, moodiness and aggression. Long term effects include heightened rates of diabetes, stroke, blood clots, cancer. In short, mortality risks are greater.
Other operations can be performed on the girlsâ private parts to make them more man-like. The fact is that they destroy the natural God-given biological make up of women and introduce procedures that are full of serious risk.
Shriek says, âSex-change operations are now commonly referred toâ by the medical profession as âgender affirming surgeriesâ. Despite all the risks and absence of safeguards these transitions continue to be promoted. The adolescent girl who goes down this path will, adds Schrier, âwake up one morning with no breasts and no uterus and think, I was only sixteen at the time. A kid. Why didnât anyone stop me?â
The regret
One girl who identified as a boy told Shrier that the trans group was a cult because âwhen youâre inside, you believe non-reality and you disbelieve realityâ. Â Being fully trans was considered a form of salvation and a happy life. Once you head in the direction of trans thereâs tremendous pressure to go the whole hog. Backing down results in on-line shaming.
At first all seems good. Friends begin to enthuse about what youâve done and your popularity online skyrockets. But later comes the distress â depression, misery, self-loathing, self-harm, drugs. And detransitioning, walking away, seems an impossibility. Theyâre plagued with regret, says Schrier. They canât undo what theyâve done.
The way back
Shrier offers this advice to her readers:
- Donât get your kids a smartphone; âthe statistical explosion of bullying, cutting, anorexia, depression, and the rise of sudden transgender identification is owed to the self-harm instruction, manipulation, abuse, and relentless harassment supplied by a single smartphoneâ.
- Donât relinquish your authority as a parent. Youâre the parent so donât be afraid to push back. Lots of parents are inclined to sympathise if their 13-year-old says sheâs lesbian. Most parents donât want to upset their children but want them to feel supported and happy. But even if your child rebels, continue to exert your authority. Sheâll feel the presence of a handrail.
- Donât support gender ideology in your childâs education. If a principal makes trans identification the subject of an assembly to expose bullying it puts gender ideology front and centre.
- Quit sharing every part of your lives (and theirs) on the internet. Once a girl shares doubts about her gender (or anything else) on the internet she can soon feel locked in.
- Consider big steps to separate your daughter from harm. Some parents quit their jobs and went and lived on a farm without internet or to an immigrant community with different values.
- Stop pathologizing girlhood. Donât label something as a mental disorder; simply set boundaries and punish unacceptable behaviour for what it is.
- Donât be afraid to admit itâs wonderful to be a girl. Girls have lots of educational and career opportunities. Moreover, a girl should know that âa womanâs most unique characteristicâchildbirthâis perhaps lifeâs greatest blessingâ.
We need to stop pandering to the trans proponents and identity politics, says Shrier. âThe universities, the schools, the doctors, the therapists, and even the churches have been won over by a dogged ideology that claims to speak for a more important class of victimâ. The truth is, she found, that most girls who identified as trans werenât trans at all and will later regret deeply the physical harm done to their bodies. As reformed Christians we would say, all girls who identify as trans are misled. God does not make mistakes.
What about ‘our’ children?
Whilst Shrierâs book is aimed at a secular audience and transgenderism is less likely to captivate âourâ children, it seems inevitable that sooner or later they will in one way or another face it. May God grant that they are never caught up by it. Weâre often told, we shouldnât live by fear. And we donât need to if we live lives of holiness in love and faithfulness to the LORD and show this in the way we nurture our children. But letâs be frank. How many church children arenât avid movie watchers and influenced by its attitudes and values? How many have smart phones through which they have easy access to porn and the sorts of You Tube videos that promote transgenderism? How many have friends outside the church with whom they are chatting through social media and who are likely to be influenced by worldly ideologies? And what about our young folks at university and TAFE where such revolutionary notions are supported through the humanities, teacher education, or medical profession? We may trust in the Lord and not fear, yes; but such trust must be accompanied by holiness of life, dedication to the Lord, and shunning worldliness. And God warns us: âBe sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devourâ (1 Peter 5:8).
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Abigail Shrier, Irreversible Damage: Teenage Girls and the Transgender Craze, Swift Press, London UK, 2021Â
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